Hey honey, let’s learn how to say no

Have you ever been faced with the requests that make you extremely awkward? I guess so many times, right? I have a beautiful soul. You are lovely, kind, and you care for everyone. Therefore, you often find it difficult to turn down an offer, even though sometimes you do not like it, fearing that the person making the offer will be hurt. Yes, the feeling of hurting others is worse than being hurt, so strange!

Some of my friends do creative work (design/ content creation/ image production…). They are the ones who have a bit of a reputation in the showbiz world, both about the perfect beauty in each of their products, and about … their arrogance. The reason they are often complained about by customers is that they always refuse the projects that are not suitable. Maybe for some people, this is weird. But if you don’t dare to say no, where will the easiness will lead them in this creative profession? How can they maintain a stance in each product they make and create their own style so that then, customers who love their style can find them?

When I was in the cafe business, I had the opportunity to prepare for a cozy and romantic proposal. The young man in the age of 26, 27 years old stopping by my coffee shop a few times, finding the design close and cute, so he asked to rent the whole shop and asked us to prepare a surprise party for his girlfriend. We all spent a lot of time and enthusiasm to decorate the space shimmeringly. A few close friends of the two main characters were also present early to help and anxiously waited… for the future bride to appear. That evening, the girl found her way into the coffee shop, being taken from one surprise to another. However, at the most important moment, the man let go of the guitar with a disappointed look because the girl said “no” and left.

I wonder, why doesn’t the girl accept the proposal? Because she doesn’t love him much enough to want to stick with him for the rest of her life? Because she has a crush on another? Because marriage is just the boy’s fiction that he has never tried to understand his girlfriend’s will? Because this proposal party was too splendid compared to her simple nature? Anyway, I still think that it is an extremely courageous decision for the girl. If she was afraid that the guy would be embarrassed so that she accepted the proposal when she didn’t want to, she would certainly suffer herself.

For countless times in my life, I’ve had to learn to say no. It could be a chase by the wrong man at the wrong time; an invitation to collaborate from a famous seasoning brand while my cooking motto is natural deliciousness; sincere advice from my beloved “find a stable job to relax yourself”, “you have to have a baby to be completely happy”, … At first, when opening my mouth and say “No”, I feel a little uneasy and shy. After getting used to it, each answer “no” gives me a feeling of comfort and gratitude, like a fish stuck in a basket and has just found a way to get out, continuing to swim in cool water.

Afraid of missing an opportunity to take in an inappropriate job, even if you try your best, you will not be able to produce the best results, and at some point, you will feel exhausted or unmotivated. Forcing yourself to buy a product because you pity the seller but do not have the need to use it is a waste, isn’t it? Obeying your parent to pursue a field that is not your forte/ hobby will only make their expectations pile up. And they will be disappointed if one day their expectation collapses because you are tired of trying. Agree to marry a person just because you two have been together for so long and the two families are urging, will that marriage give you endless happiness or persistent uneasiness?

Instead, learning how to say no shows your confidence, which people who understand and love you will greatly appreciate. Learning how to say no is how you free yourself from unnecessary attachments. Learning to say no can save you, and others. Learning how to say no opens up many new opportunities. To be able to learn to say no, like many other times I’ve mentioned, you need to do an upside-down trip into your soul, to explore yourself, to know what you want, what you need, what direction you should turn when standing at the intersections of choices. Ask yourself questions, find your own answers, and BE BRAVE, honey!

“HEY DEAR” is my short series of articles on positive outlooks, which is hoped to inspire women, awaken beautiful values ​​that are sleeping inside you, so that we can be confident and happy with our choices. Is there any topic that you want me to share, comment below!

“Waiting is a useless thing

Let’s wake up and stop dreaming

When our life is this pretty pink

Why you cry and make the dawn sink?”

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