There are many times when I ask myself and others this question, and every time, the answer I find depends on the attitude to life of each person – if you find it easy or hard, it will be that way. This article comprises of a few of its conclusions that will probably help someone who is engrossed in searching for answers!
1. SPEND TIME ALONE
I think every human being has the right to live for himself. Perhaps the nature of an introvert always urges me to be alone. I can walk alone, shop alone, eat alone, watch movies alone, sit in a cafe alone, do everything by myself without feeling empty and lonely. Simply because it’s about time I delve into my inner emotions. Sometimes, I just let my thoughts dance. Sometimes I can arrange a story that I want to tell, question what I have not done well, find solutions for some backlogs, think of a recipe or the idea of taking a new set of photos, etc. Spending time alone, for me, is great!
2. ENJOY THE TIME WITH YOUR BELOVED
In contrast to the times that are only for myself, I also like to enjoy the happy moments with my beloved. It sounds contradictory at first but not at all contradictory. We remain in the flow of life and merge into it, not completely separate from it. Therefore, if a person is willing to respect your privacy, you can always put that person in that private context. Like those times when I was attentive to my work, imagining that he was there. He could make noises – storytelling, random songs, keyboard typing sounds, a cheerful laugh, but not at all intend on breaking my train of thought, and I’m completely happy with his participation. We are pretty much the same in the # 1 and # 2 things. Sometimes when we are not busy with our ideas, we drink beer, listen to music, have dinner together. In the warm closed circle of the two of us, I feel good.
3. MEETINGS WITH NEW PEOPLE.
I try to minimize unnecessary appointments, or meetings with people who do not share the same viewpoint of life to avoid debates that everyone knows will not get anywhere or are so boring that you have to spend hours stuffing into your head what you don’t want to know. Because of that, I tend to like being around cool, interesting people. We will have quality conversations, evoking many directions of thinking, but not superficially. To meet such type of people, I have to have something myself? And for having that something, there is no better way than to spend time for yourself to cultivate your knowledge, skills and inner emotions? Besides, I also organize to connect people with similar interests and life perspectives, forming an “ecosystem” to grow together. If our body has a circulatory system to sustain life, then our inner part also needs its circulatory system.
4. CREATE SURPRISES FOR YOURSELF
I was always uncomfortable with what happened against my will. In return, many times, I like to surprise myself. Suppose on a sunny day, I jumped into my friend’s motorbike and let her take me wherever she wanted. I realized that even though the destination is a familiar place, everyone’s route is different. Her familiar path was new to me. Or like when dating someone to go out for coffee or dinner, if it was me before, I would consider searching carefully for locations or rummaging through memory to find out which place is suitable for the person I am about to meet; For now, I will tell that person to choose, so that I can step into his/her favorite place, or I will take a random new address I found online so that we can both try a new place for fun. When ordering food, I like to try something strange, even made from ingredients I don’t know.
Thanks to that, I found out that mushrooms can make raw salad rather than “boiling for at least 5 minutes to be done thoroughly” as my mother told me, beets can be pressed for juice, foie gras can be used as a great dipping sauce for chips, pan-fried King oyster mushrooms with chili powder have delicious fragrance and very hot, spaghetti served with tom yum is fine, vanilla ice cream served with bacon sound weird but not bad … The same goes for travel. We spent half a day getting to the destination we wanted to go to, and the other half of the day to wander around freely, for the wheels to roll freely, and for our feet to go wherever they want.
5. FLOAT IN MY AESTHETICISM
My rule from the time I started to know what beauty was (about 3-4 years old) is to not allow myself to be sleazy even when I am just walking out to buy a loaf of bread or a bottle of soy sauce. Even at home, I have to wear the skirt I like to look fresh and beautiful. When I’m beautiful, I will be confident, love my life, and radiate good energy, create an impression on others, thereby have more opportunities to interact with the civilized, beautiful, good conditions. I generally think there is no reason not to take good care of yourself! Also, creating a comfortable and aesthetic living space or immersing yourself in the beautiful melodies of music, attending art exhibitions, admiring amazing photos, drinking water in a beautiful cup, having dinner on a beautiful plate, sitting and reading in a nice room, … I call this aestheticism. Why not?! Adding aestheticism in everything you do from small to big things will help improve the quality of your life. Please notice, if someone was born in a place where everything is beautiful, their aesthetics were trained from childhood, and become instinctive, so everything they do, wear, create is all beautiful. I believe that beauty has a strong influence, so just let beauty fill your soul, and you will also find yourself and everything around you more beautiful, and how beautiful your life is!
6. FUN MEETING
When I was in school, I was called “party queen” by my friends, not because I liked or I attended every party, but because I often brought my friends home to party. We would be having fun cooking together and enjoying the “mistakes” of each new recipe test, and the “greatest dishes” always appearing on the table. Later, when I got married, my husband is even more passionate about partying than me, so we often hold BBQ parties. Everyone would eat BBQ, drink, play the guitar, and sing together. Late at night, when there were only a few close friends left, we talked about everything in life. With a little dizzy and warm feeling, we poured out our secrets, our deep dreams, delve into each other’s world, the distance would be narrowed down. Hidden in those private stories were profound lessons. My husband once said, “I have grown up from nights like this”.
7. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY
Today I watched an interview with one of my favorite singers. I like her not only because of her voice but because of her intelligence, charm, independence, confidence, maturity. From a little girl raised and kept under the strictness of her mother, she chose what her mother disliked, but that was what made her feel comfortable and happy – becoming a singer not only with a beautiful voice but also hot appearance. I found sympathy because in the past, I was under the strict supervision of my father, but I was luckier than her, that I was able to calmly sit down and talk to my parents so that they understood my wishes. I still appreciate my father’s strictness later on, because it has somehow helped control my strong personality, helping me stay awake and be decisive with my choices. I realize that most of the followers/ readers who came to me to confide were all becoming someone by the wishes of the family and society, and gradually, they forgot their true wishes. I used to think that was the consequence of forced education. By the time you interact with foreign friends in developed countries with progressive, open education, helping people develop per their personal preferences, you will realize that it’s normal for someone to be “lost” in life. I found out, happy and unhappy people are different in the choices they pursue. What I always tell people is that when I decide to do something new, I usually choose to make myself happy, no matter how difficult things are. At that time, although the results were not as expected, the implementation process was also a happy experience without regrets. The choice of joy is a selfish choice that takes drastic actions, but it will be a courageous and wise choice. That’s it! Because I don’t see anyone who can live an ideal life but not happy themselves.
8. ENJOY THINGS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE
My last rule is: There are things we don’t like at all, but you will still have to do. So, enjoy! Change your attitude toward something so that you can finish it happily. For example, I don’t like the fact that all the people are gathering but just one is cleaning, but I also don’t want guests coming to my house to have to clean up. So at home, my husband and I often share work with each other. In the evening when the party is over, the two of us usually clean together, the next day I will put the dishes into the dishwasher, he will clean up the charcoal stove, clean the house (even when home helpers are coming, we still have to arrange it properly). Time to clean up together is also the time to connect, chat, have fun, and there is nothing stressful at all. It was impossible to refuse, then, just enjoy everything that is supposed to be!
You can complain that you live in a motel or share a house with your parents, without having any private space; I am so busy with my children, there is no time to notice what I am wearing or to get dressed nicely to meet anyone; partying sounds expensive. But please think carefully, it is because you do not want enough, not determined. Also, you may be mistakenly saying that the things you have said above are associated with a high standard of living. But honestly, whether your life is poetic doesn’t relate to your income.
I have a Ha Noi friend who is not rich, but her soul is really rich. She lives with her parents, but she still has her small garden to grow her favorite plants, putting a table in the balcony to drink tea and watch flowers, taking care of her family’s meals…I love to watch the photos of her beautiful daughter sleeping soundly on a neat bed sheet when the early morning sunlight goes through the bars to form sparkling sunbeams.
As I said at the beginning, how your life is going depends on the attitude of each person. The sharing of our lifestyle is not right for you. The most important thing is: Make your ordinary things beautiful and full of happiness in your own way!
Photo by Phuc Co Bap