Perhaps this picture reflects the current state of life of us the most accurately: the love between a farmer and a lady.
It’s not uncommon for an urban girl to love a rural boy in the world. It’s like “You came into this life on the avenue, I came into this life through a small path/ You came into this life from a high-rise, and I entered life from a thatched house” (*). Their backgrounds are different. Their personalities are almost opposite. But do they accidentally get entangled in a certain way, or is it really an arrangement of fate?!
The farmer is inherently hard-working, accustomed to hard work and hard conditions, so he does most of the housework. On weekends, he often takes care of the garden, cleans the house; she plays on the swing singing, reading, chattering about character A, character B for him to listen to, adding a bit of excitement by commenting “it is not nice to place this chair here, it would be more beautiful to place the shelf in that corner”. She just has to sit there and let him take care of the world! When the works are finished, the two of them would have a simple meal at home, or he would take her to a pub with good beer and good music for dinner.
If we ignore our misunderstandings and the quarrels (which I rarely tell), our love story must be like a fairytale, making many people jealous and dream of. Many people ask me how to lead such an easy-going life. I think from the beginning we need to think right and choose the right one.
This is about real life, not a fairytale, so let’s just be honest with each other about our real thoughts! Think properly about the roles of husband and wife in the family! Why do women have to “take care of the housework” when so many of us are “better at our jobs” and don’t have any special interests or strengths of the housework? Why should a woman know how to cook, wash dishes, and a man must know how to make money “to feed his wife and children”? If people are shaking their heads off in front of women who are not well-versed in the kitchen, why don’t anyone complain when a man is not able to screw a screw into the wall or do not know how to replace a light bulb? Why is the measure of a man’s success his career and is the measure of a woman’s success her family? How long have we lived in that absurdly imposed ideology?
You see, as long as we think right, we will do it right. Whether you are a man or a woman, choose someone who will worried about you, take care of you and comfort you truly in their own way that they can do best, love you with all their enthusiasm, support your dreams, be proud of you as you thrive in your career, be happy to share the housework with you, accept who you are, not force you to change or sacrifice yourself. The person who is able to inspire happiness within you.
If you are a girl who likes to take care of your home and loved ones, keep giving love and caring, as long as you don’t forget to take your time and respect for yourself. If you are a girl who loves social work and is as bad at housework as I am, choose a man who does not feel uncomfortable when you return home after a tiring day, lying in bed doing nothing. If you’re a girl who doesn’t like to cook, find a man who is happy to cook; or at least will work with you to find a common solution. If you are a man who is comfortable taking care of your family with small actions, you should be proud of that.
For example, being with my husband every minute, every second, I feel happy, not because he often does unexpected or romantic actions, but because I am living the way I always want.
The starting point of marriage is being happy together and the destination is also the starting point. We hang around that circle and fall in love endlessly. Unfortunately, if the route for the two of you is not a circle, surely, either of you, or both of you have stepped out to find a new destination, or have been wrong right from the start. So, please don’t be impatient, don’t choose the wrong one, and if you’ve got it wrong, don’t blame it. The ancients had the saying “first, blame yourself, then blame others”. Every result in life, either good or bad, is only externally affected very little and is mainly caused by ourselves.❤️
📷 Chang’s house
(*) The rap verse in the “Small Path” by Den Vau Singer.