LOVE MORE MODERN LIFESTYLE

Make friends with your ex

27/10/2019

The other day, I watched a short film telling how a girl would react when meeting her ex. The story reminded me once I posted an article of the interview my husband’s ex did with me about the book The House with Two Lives, a friend asked me, “Why is there such a strange relationship? How could you be friends with your husband’s ex?”. I just laughed and teased her, “I can even be friends with my love rival!” (You may not believe it, but that weird type of relationship has happened in my life). Making friends with your ex and making friends with your husband/ wife’s ex, in modern society, in my opinion, is a civilized way of behaving.

About us, we can share anything even the most secret thing, perhaps because we both know how to put subjective emotions out of a committed relationship. To be friends with your spouse, love is not enough, we need to trust, respect, be open, sincere and frank. I know a lot of people who love each other passionately but it’s an unusual thing for them to sit down together to drink a cup of coffee, chatting like two best friends. I believe, as long as you can be friends with your spouse, making friends with your spouse’s ex is an easy thing to do.

I had the opportunity to meet most of my husband’s exes. Each of them has their personalities, some of which partly helped me understand more about my husband in the past and at the present, knowing the time we were not in each other’s life, at different periods of time, what he was like, and why there is a calm, steady version of him to make a soft reliable shoulder for me today. I also have to thank his exes for energizing him in difficult times, so that he would not give up, desperate, being messed-up in some corner but still persist in living well to wait for his young wife to grow a little bit more to be ready to love him and stick the rest of her life to him.

If I feel it is not good for him to keep the relationship with someone because that person doesn’t seem to have enough respect for me and our relationship, I always tell him frankly what I think. Yes, in a long-term relationship, telling the other person what you think is better than letting him/ her guess and finally get it wrong?! As a man who loves his wife, he knows what is the right thing to do.

A few days ago, he received a message from his ex-lover who he loved before me. It has been five years since the two of them last met. This time, she was on a business trip from Hanoi to Saigon, proactively texting him “let’s go for a coffee”. I was busy that day, so he went to the appointment first. He rarely mentioned that lady, and had almost no contact for a long time, suddenly she contacted so I also got a bit of jealousy, thinking, “I wonder if she wants anything from my husband?”. I trust him, but it is not easy to trust the women around him.

When I finished my work and was on my way home, he texted me to tell me that she had just had a short haircut, because recently she had undergone chemotherapy, and lost too much hair. Hearing that, he did not ask anymore. I was a bit shocked, I found myself petty and selfish, all the jealousy in the world was so silly. I went to the meeting place. Her face was still fresh. She laughed a lot, even laughed very loudly. The laughter was as if it would drown out all the sorrows she bore by her self. I’m moved, wondering … How many opportunities do we have in life to meet someone we once loved so much? Suddenly, I wanted to text someone I hadn’t met for a long time … “Shall we go for a coffee!”.

The picture was taken with my ex-lover of the previous life, hopefully, in the afterlife, he will not forget to text me “Shall we go for a coffee!”

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