A Conversation with Dr. Nguyen Duc Nhat on the Meaning of Life

My conversation with Dr. Nguyen Duc Nhat, a psychologist, began with a profound philosophical question: ‘What is the meaning of life?’ Through his journey of offering guidance to those caught in psychological crises—endlessly searching for a reason to keep going—he arrived at a simple truth: To live a meaningful life, focus on building rather than chasing happiness.

Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning recounts his time in Nazi concentration and extermination camps. It shows that, in extreme conditions where life and death hang in the balance, the greatest mission is to find meaning in life and use it as a source of strength to survive. In your opinion, what is the meaning of life?

This is a question I’m certain many people ask themselves, especially after experiencing major hardships—declining health, financial struggles, losing loved ones, or questioning their own self-worth. Consumerism gives people the illusion that everything, including happiness, can be easily acquired. For instance, if you don’t feel happy wearing one shirt, you can buy another. You seek external values, believing you can control everything, feeling secure until those things are taken away. But in doing so, you forget that some things are beyond your control and never learn the flexibility to accept them.

Yet, when unexpected events occur, they are often just the final drop in an already full glass. If someone sinks into depression because of them, it means that instability was already present—perhaps unnoticed or consciously avoided without true resolution. Mental health is shaped by lifestyle, thought processes, and the environment of family and society.

That’s why, to live a meaningful life, one must build happiness instead of chasing it.

So, what is your personal definition of happiness?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests that human desires evolve—from basic physical necessities to connection, respect, and ultimately, living with purpose. According to Seligman’s research on the science of happiness, happiness can be achieved at different levels: a fulfilling life—appreciating simple things like physical well-being, friendships, and nature, an enriched life—discovering and utilizing personal strengths to improve life, a meaningful life—having a deep awareness of a purpose greater than oneself and dedicating time and talent to pursue it.

I agree with these studies in many ways. However, this doesn’t mean people stop questioning purpose simply because their basic needs aren’t met. For example, during wartime, despite harsh living conditions, many willingly fought—even sacrificing their lives. Similarly, there are struggling artists around the world who continue to pursue their dreams despite financial difficulties. At its core, happiness is doing something that feels truly worthwhile. 

Specifically, when building happiness, what should we focus on?

There’s a popular phrase in self-help books: “Live with passion!” This idea stems from industrial and capitalist influences, emphasizing dedication—suggesting that if you find the right work, you’ll never feel exhausted. It creates an assumption that happiness is something waiting in the future: “Once I find my passion, I will be happy.” It’s similar to how many people get caught up in romantic ideals—believing that simply finding love will guarantee lifelong happiness.

The first step in building happiness is understanding yourself—knowing what values you cherish to make thoughtful choices. Second, allow yourself time to engage deeply and build meaning around what you do. Through experience, we learn how our actions impact ourselves and the world around us. Additionally, we shouldn’t forget the core question: Who do we truly want to become? What makes us feel valuable, authentic, and willing to dedicate effort toward growth? We must also avoid idealizing expectations that lead us to chase goals that might be unrealistic.

Everyone must answer and build their own happiness. But often, we’re influenced by external factors—environmental awareness, media-driven ideas of happiness—and end up measuring our own happiness and worth through society’s lens instead of creating a personal definition of meaningful happiness.

So, should people focus on themselves, building a strong belief system to avoid being shaken by external influences?

If someone focuses only on personal values without considering how their actions affect others—or if they idealize themselves so much that they don’t recognize society’s needs—they might lean toward narcissism. On the other hand, if someone is completely guided by societal expectations and loses touch with their own voice, they may always feel dissatisfied or disappointed with themselves, perhaps even believing it’s too late to change because they’ve built an identity shaped by external approval and fear breaking away from it. That’s why I think balance is key—understanding oneself, shaping personal identity, and making informed choices while considering external factors.

But most people learn from experience before realizing what they need to build. Have you ever had to search, or even feel lost, before learning how to create happiness?

Looking back a few years ago—before deciding to leave a promising corporate career to return as a student and start over in psychology—I went through an existential crisis, constantly questioning my self-worth and what truly felt meaningful. While my peers were settling into stable careers, building families, and accumulating assets, I took a different path. At the time, I only knew that I wanted to help people and become a therapist who could fulfill that goal, so I chose to face academic pressures in a foreign country. Over time, as I made progress in my new career, the gap between the person I aspired to be and the person I truly was began to close. Engaging deeply and building meaning around my work became the way I gradually built my own happiness.

During the period when you had to overcome psychological challenges, how did you get through it?

At the university I attended, every student had access to a psychologist for mental health support. I was fortunate to have an incredible support system. But honestly, if you want the real answer, you should ask my wife how she helped me through it. At the time, she was still my girlfriend, and she encouraged me a lot during our time apart. When someone opens up about their struggles, emotional support from a loved one doesn’t have to be grand gestures or concrete solutions. Sometimes, just being present—letting them know they’re not alone and that someone genuinely supports them—is enough.

What is your approach in therapy to help clients unlock their inner strength and achieve a healthy life?

There are several different therapy approaches. Some common ones include: Psychoanalytic therapy—delving into the past to uncover repressed emotions and assess their impact on the present, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)—identifying negative thoughts and behaviors and replacing them with positive patterns, Family therapy—examining how familial, cultural, and societal influences shape a person’s experiences.

There’s no single “right” approach. I take an eclectic approach, blending various techniques and tailoring them to fit both myself and my clients. For example, exploring the past can help people understand the significance of certain experiences and how to move forward. At the end of the day, an event is just an event. Whether it brings suffering depends on how we interpret it. So, healing doesn’t always require revisiting the past—what truly matters is the meaning we assign to our life story, as that determines how we move forward.

Additionally, human challenges typically stem from three key factors: biological factors—whether certain conditions are inherited, environmental influences—family and societal impacts, psychological choices—individual decisions.

If therapy focuses solely on one aspect, it risks overlooking another area where the client might need the most support. 

When should someone seek help from a therapist, and how can they determine which therapist is right for them?

When managing a challenge alone becomes overwhelming. If you start experiencing intense reactions—like insomnia, resurfacing painful memories, racing thoughts, or depression—therapy can help you understand and improve these responses. Finding the right therapist is similar to choosing a doctor when you’re sick. Consider factors like licensing, credibility, comfort level (including gender preferences), and the therapist’s expertise in relation to your specific concerns.

Thank you for the conversation!