Amanda Nguyen – Beyond the Cosmos, Within the Soul

On March 4, 2025, Amanda Nguyễn, a Vietnamese American human rights activist, unveiled her heartfelt memoir, capturing the healing journey she has embraced. For Amanda, her sanctuary is the vast universe—a limitless space where she is freed from the pain and physical constraints of life. This peaceful refuge is also found within her soul, a place where she reconnects deeply with her roots and dreams. Amanda’s message to all those who have experienced hardship is profoundly empowering: your healing journey is uniquely yours, and it may take time or happen swiftly. Ultimately, the only two versions of yourself you need to satisfy are the five-year-old you and the eighty-year-old you.

 

Rising from the depths of pain

“”Do you hear it? It is the steady beat of thousands of foot- steps for centuries to come. A path, a new reality already made possible because you existed. The choir is already singing,” Amanda whispers to her 22-year-old self.

Her memoir, “Saving Five: A Memoir of Hope”, begins with a vividly imagined scene. This deeply moving account chronicles Amanda Nguyễn’s journey of survival and hope following a sexual assault at Harvard University in 2013. It’s a story that transforms pain into resilience, offering a beacon of light for those navigating their own healing.

Present-day Amanda revisits her college dorm to meet her 22-year-old self, assuring her that the pain—both physical and emotional—that once made her want to set the world ablaze can now be left behind. Her younger self, calm and composed, walks Amanda to the door—a stark contrast to the moments before when she had questioned why Amanda would return to such a dark place. Back then, the pain had taken root so deeply, she could barely rise above it. Now, Amanda realizes that even in the depths of that suffering, there were beautiful memories shared with her fellow students.

Tears stream down Amanda’s face in that poignant moment, as she recognizes her triumph over fear and her relentless fight for change—not just for herself but for everyone who has endured similar struggles. The choir she speaks of is none other than the chorus of justice.

Amanda reveals that she penned this book ten years ago as a means of saving herself. Within its pages, she reconnects with herself at the pivotal ages of 5, 15, 22, and 30—milestones marked by chaos. Each of these chapters reflects a defining stage: her childhood, her arrival in America and the adjustment that followed, the lack of support from the legal system, and finally, her emergence as a human rights activist while navigating her own healing journey.

Reading Amanda’s story, I couldn’t help but wonder: is each lesson at every milestone a step toward healing, or is it the sum of all those lessons that finally mends the scars? And how daunting must it be to confront such a difficult past?

Amanda reflects: “Recalling details of that grief will always be challenging, but more than anything I felt proud as I went back through that journey and saw how far I’ve come. After I was assaulted and chose to rewrite the law, I sent an email to everyone I knew. I asked them to “walk with me.” It is because of those people’s eagerness to help, people from all different points in my life, that I was able to rewrite the law and ultimately heal. As I went through this journey of healing, it was definitely a series of different forms of healing, but it wasn’t until now, after completing my activism journey, after passing 91 laws and a UN resolution, that I feel that full sense of healing. One thing I know for sure is that this writing journey gave me a chance to relive that process from start to finish. By the end I was not only proud of the book that I had written, but I was proud that I could share it with the world and hopefully give others a path toward healing too”.

A Love for the Stars

Amanda is currently gearing up for her upcoming space journey aboard Blue Origin’s New Shepard rocket, fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut. She is set to make history as the first Vietnamese American woman to venture into space.

Amanda’s passion for space stems from her deep love for the stars. “My mother traveled by boat to the United States and used the moon and stars to guide their boat across the sea. When they came to America, both of my parents studied science and engineering. It was that love of the stars that drove me toward space from a very young age”.

Her mother’s journey across the ocean from Vietnam to America and Amanda’s own journey from Earth to the cosmos share a profound similarity: a deep yearning for freedom and a desire to reach beyond the confines of the physical body. On a broader scale, it reflects the connection between one’s roots and dreams. Growing up as a Vietnamese American girl in Southern California, Amanda learned to embrace her cultural identity. She lived in a neighborhood and attended a school where Vietnamese people were the minority. On weekends, her family would drive to Little Saigon—a place where she truly discovered what it meant to be Vietnamese.

“Early last year I retraced my mother’s journey from Vietnam to the United States, and visited some of my ancestors’ homes in Bạc Liêu, Sài Gòn and Huế. It was my first time visiting Vietnam in my adult life. It was so deeply meaningful. As I was writing this book and preparing to announce that I would fly to space as the first Vietnamese woman astronaut, I was slightly worried about how Vietnam would receive me. But I’m so humbled by the outpouring of love and pride that Vietnam has shown me. I returned to Vietnam two more times after that first journey, and I can’t wait to go back again”.

Although she holds American citizenship, deep within Amanda, there remains an unbreakable bond with her Vietnamese roots. Her dream of returning to her origins is as grand as her aspiration to explore the vast universe. I once read about the fascinating similarity between the structure of the universe and the neural network in the human brain. The universe is composed of galaxies, galaxy clusters, and superclusters, all interconnected by cosmic threads. Similarly, the brain’s neural system is linked through synapses. Whether humans delve into the mysteries of the universe or explore the depths of their own soul, it all circles back to the same existential questions: “Who am I?” and “What is the meaning of my life?” Perhaps Amanda’s journey to reconnect with her roots and her dreams of venturing into space will bring her healing journey to a poetic closure. Her story beautifully reminds me of the famed words by Victor Hugo: “What makes night within us may leave stars.”

Q&A

What are your favorite daily activities?

I adore art and fashion. While doing this interview for Đẹp, I’m currently in New York. I’ve spent the past week visiting boutiques and exploring the city’s art galleries.

Where do you feel the most at peace and safe?

I’ve turned my home in Washington D.C. into a sanctuary. It has a small library filled with keepsakes from different phases of my life. This is undoubtedly where I feel the most at peace and creative. I wrote my entire book here.

What is your favorite book?

“Born a Crime” by Trevor Noah, “Know My Name” by Chanel Miller, and “Educated” by Tara Westover are three books that helped me find my voice to write my own.

What about your favorite movies?

“Interstellar” and “Gravity”. Last year, I had a total of 97 flights, and these were definitely the movies I rewatched the most while in the air.

What’s the next destination you’d like to conquer after space?

After my journey into space, I plan to rest and seek tranquility—maybe on my bed at home or aboard a boat in Hạ Long Bay. I’m not sure what lies ahead, but I’ll take pride in fulfilling the promise I made to my younger self. 

_The article was published on Đẹp Magazine, Issue 294/ March, 2025. Photos provided by Amanda Nguyen