Thái Minh Châu: A Mother’s Unspoken Truths

First Time Making a Film About Motherhood

The mother character in the film “Spoiled: Mom’s Birthday Party” (Phá Đám: Sinh Nhật Mẹ), produced by Châu, also hides everything from her child. The child is rejected by his father, yet she lies that he has passed away. She keeps her illness secret. She sacrifices much, yet appears strict and demanding in front of her child. Screenwriter Nguyễn Thanh Bình wrote the script based on the archetype of mothers from the previous generation.

“Many mothers choose to bear all the losses and suffering themselves, hoping their child will not be affected, embarrassed, or insecure. But this very sacrifice unintentionally creates pressure and expectation: since mother has done everything, the child must live up to it. This is the crux of the tragedy in the film. In the previous generation, mothers often felt the child was not ready to know or did not deserve to know. They were used to keeping everything, believing that if they were mothers, they could endure, as long as the child was unharmed. My mother was like that. We did not have conversations that revealed and understood each other’s hearts. But as a mother myself, I realize that we should not strip a child of the right to know and the right to make their own decisions. Rationally speaking, the more a child goes through hardships, the stronger their inner strength and mental resilience,” Thái Minh Châu shares.

This film project began when Châu was pregnant, as if by fate. The story closely resonates with screenwriter Nguyễn Thanh Bình, who could not communicate with his parents and never understood why his mother married his father, and both spent their lives in regret. The project was initially rejected by many producers, so Bột Creative Hub, co-founded by Châu and Bình, decided to produce it themselves, knowing it was a risky decision.

Châu says, “At first, we were very confident, sometimes naively thinking everything would be easy. But in reality, disappointments followed one after another. Thanks to the trust and support from family and friends, we made it this far. If the film can help viewers empathize with parents and understand that within a certain social context, their choices, right or wrong, may be the best they could do for their children, then that is the greatest happiness for us on this journey. And with compassion, we understand that parents are just learning to be parents.”

Throughout the process, Châu and Bình supported each other, not only to complete their debut work but also to strengthen their own parenting. They often told their son about the joys and challenges of filmmaking. Though Bờm is still young and does not fully understand, they believe he can sense the family atmosphere during the stressful and imperfect first filmmaking experience and participate in this “family film crew.” Both hope their child understands that everyone can make mistakes, but that should not prevent taking risks.

The film’s theme song is titled “First Time Being a Mother”:

“Mother has only today become a mother for the first time
How can any mother know what it is to be a mother
Mother is as confused as a child at the start
Looking at her beloved child, mother forgets her pain”

Châu recalls Dr. Bùi Trân Phượng’s words: “Our children are also human beings. They are not dependent entities nor our possessions. We must treat them as independent people.” Now, for the first time being a mother and making a film about motherhood, she feels this more than ever: “In truth, no one knows exactly what is right or good. Every mother is trying to do her best within her understanding, within the social context she lives in, and within her own limits. If a mother lies to her child, it is because she fears hurting them.”