Romanticism in family life

Last night, under the veranda, we talked about freedom, generation gap, romanticism in family life, and about the lifestyle that we were trying to build.

Many of us always believe that Westerners are very free, easy-going, and they live their own lives without family bonds. But in fact, the link between them is very tight.

Around me, there are many hustling parents, many children who walk out of the school gate then hurriedly chew a piece of bread and tiredly go to their extra classes. By the end of the week, some busy parents keep sending their children to skill classes, some other parents love their children so much that they forget their hobbies.

Without time and space for themselves, parents will stick with their old habits, old lifestyles, and gradually, a distance between the parents and their children due to different ideologies and lifestyles will be created. After all, the children keep growing, the parents keep getting old, and they don’t have enough time to listen to each other.

Meanwhile, in Western countries, during the years from the birth of a baby to when she/ he reaches the age of 18, the parents often spend a lot of time with their children.

I was obsessed with the beautiful footage of the movie “Call me by your name”. Everyone in the family of the 17-year-old Elio together came to a house in the Southern countryside of Italy to spend the summer vacation.

Every day, they spent most of their time together: reading, drinking tea, swimming, sunbathing, going to the beach, sharing intimate moments, sharing private emotions, discussing the profound problem. At that time, the parents enjoyed their pleasures, and the children grew up in the atmosphere of family gathering, respect, and understanding.

After the age of 18, the child will leave the family, choose to live life the way he/ she wants, to freely pursue his/ her dreams, to return home to visit every Christmas, or when the link of connection vibrates after years of separation. I believe that childhood memories always exist deep within each person. The parents continue to live their normal life.

I call it the “romanticism in family life”, when everyone lives their daily life in a way that they enjoy, not trying to sacrifice themselves so much for someone that the person never stops expect until the rest of their life. Rely on, not dependent on. Love, but not bind others.

Recently, I am really tired of what families often encounter: parents give birth to their children because they fear of being old without anyone to care for them, children are born with responsibility on their shoulders, and families with many children will have quarrels among the children about who will take the responsibility to take care of the parents. How could our childhood be like bubbles, very quick to burst and melt?!

For me, as simple as this, being born in a society where every person is given a responsibility, he or she should keep fulfilling his/ her responsibility. Our parents are ours. If your siblings cannot take care of your mother, you should take care of her. Do not complain about that.

Next, as modern parents, we need to change our minds a little, let’s live our lives to the fullest, let’s work, enjoy, and earn enough money to live until you grow old, take care of yourself first, and your children have their own lives. No imposition, no expectations. Live romantically! It’s okay if your children don’t study very well! As long as your children are kind and happy.

P/s: An old photo of the rose bush in our small garden on the balcony. Can I use this as an illustration of a romantic life?