A Messy Home Is Perfectly Fine
– A home, you know, is fine with a little clutter!
Coming back to our familiar home always brings a strange kind of peace. Perhaps that is why, throughout our journey of love, I have loved writing about home, and every now and then I discover a new side of it.
Like the time we came home after a few days away. We opened the door and stepped in; the dear, familiar scene appeared, yet somehow something felt missing.
After wandering around the house, I said to him, “The house feels lifeless – why is that?” He thought for a moment, then went “ah”. “Because everything is exactly where we left it when we tidied up before the trip.”
I froze, trying to make sense of his answer. Why would things being in place make a home feel lifeless?! A moment later, it was my turn to go “ah!” out loud. He had observed it exactly right.
The plants were still green but silent, as if missing conversation, because the windows had been shut. The books sat mute on the shelf with no one reading them. The glasses stayed put in the kitchen cabinet instead of being scattered around the house. The dishes were spotless, not a single one askew.
No one had hastily hung a handbag on the door handle. The shoe corner was spotless, with no sign of outside life spilling into the house. Not even street dust or the noise around us could disturb that frozen air.
The plants, objects, air, sounds and scents in the house seemed not to have interacted at all while we were away. The liveliness we create for our home through our small daily habits had quietly slipped away.
So the two of us began to… make a mess. He opened the windows to let the wind rush in, put on the record player, vacuumed, mopped and watered the plants. I arranged a vase of flowers, lit a scented candle, made a drink, whipped up a little snack in the kitchen, grabbed a book and flopped onto the sofa.
And of course, the half-read book and the empty glass stayed right there on the table – they could be tidied later. Because by then I knew that a home, like its owners, needs its own little disorder to become a living being that changes and grows a little more every day.
